I need something

I need something to channel my passion. Now that I've finally figured where my passion lies, I need to use the motivation it gives me, and start using my brain properly again. My passion is breastfeeding and child-centred parenting and basically anything that involves using your instinct and being led by mother nature to nurture and raise your child.

I've done the La Leche League breastfeeding peer supporter training (a 12 week course) and instead of fulfilling my need to learn, it just fuelled the fire in my brain. I want knowledge, I want to help other parents, I want to spread the word about how your baby knows best, about how truly wonderful it feels to wear your baby in a sling or wrap, about the miracle of clearing a baby's blocked nose with one squirt of breastmilk. I want parents to never have to feel the mental anguish of listening to your child crying: going against your natural instinct to follow "advice" from health professionals who are themselves following "advice" that stems from some seriously antiquated practices. It scares me how prolific these practices still are in this day and age. How low the breastfeeding rates are in this country (in fact, how low they are in so many first world countries around the world), how fervently people defend their right to feed their child a subpar alternative to breastmilk. How blase people have become about breastfeeding - I hear too many pregnant women say that they hope they'll be able to breastfeed. What on earth do you think your breasts are there for?! Only around 2% of women have a true medical reason for being unable to breastfeed. The rest of you: that's choice. I suppose it's all so closely woven with people's need to work, (which btw, it is still perfectly possible to breastfeed even if the mother has to return to full time work, it just takes a little more effort), or just to continue living their life as they were accustomed before baby came along. People have busy lives and they are heavily scheduled, this just doesn't work with a new baby. You have to let go! There are huge misconceptions that people still have about what a newborn baby needs, about how foreign independence should be to any human that young and yet it seems to be what parents strive for. How warped our perception of what a "good" baby is. How formula companies infiltrated our healthcare systems and that they are still allowed to advertise... all this confuses and upsets me and infuriates me in equal measure.

I could type and type and type and still probably not write down every topic that peaks my interest in this area. I hate that I may come across as judgemental: this isn't my aim at all. People make decisions that they believe to be in their (and their baby's) best interests: obviously, this I don't doubt. What I doubt is the generations of poor practice and misinformation that has filtered down to make some strange stuff the norm. Just because something is popular doesn't make it right. To steal a quote from elsewhere: never confuse prominence with significance. I think I get frustrated with how easily people are led. Well, it's not even that they're led, it's just that they only see one path and it's easy just to keep on trucking, I guess. Use your brain!

"Breast is best" isn't just some anti-formula campaign: it's the truth! It is what mother nature intended you too nourish your infant with, it is the way we are designed. I see smart people choosing to let their milk dry up (or in some cases, never even let their baby suckle to stimulate milk production) so that they may get back to their "normal" lives asap. Dude, you had a fucking baby: your life will NEVER be the same. How about putting them first? They are only going to be this tiny once. I guess what gets me is that perhaps I feel like it devalues all the hard work I put in parenting Pearl. (I'm not so pigheaded that I can't see my own character flaws.) Breastfeeding wasn't always easy for me! It was hard, sometimes when she would have woken for the 19th time in one night, when I'd been sitting up feeding her for what felt like hours (and sometimes it was hours), when my nipples were sore, through engorgement, through growth spurts (oh the torture!), when I'd see my husband sleeping soundly next to me. I worried endlessly about whether she was getting enough milk, about whether my letdown was too forceful, about whether she had wind or was sensitive to something I'd eaten. I pondered over whether she would be sleeping better if I just gave her a bottle. I wondered (and still do) whether I will ever know what it feels like to have a full night's sleep again. But as with everything, this too shall pass. And I fucking ploughed on through every little hiccup, I did what I had to because Pearl comes first. And because I like using my brain, while I was pregnant I spent many hours reading all about how amazing breastmilk is. Like, literally amazing. Seriously. So if I ever got any doubts about what the heck I was doing, I just needed to visit the filing cabinet in my head, and pull out some facts about what my breastmilk was doing for Pearl physically (and what feeding her was doing for our attachment) and I'd put any crazy thoughts I had aside.

Of course there are legitimate reasons why people can't breastfeed, I am not denying that for one second. Some women truly have low milk supply. I've met them and it is heartbreaking but not their fault, and thank fuck for breastmilk alternatives in these situations. (Although as an aside, in bygone days when women had low milk supply, their babies would be nursed by a relative or friend who would either re-lactate or was already feeding her own child. This is still widely practiced in many cultures around the world.) There are circumstances in which it would be impossible for the mother to maintain her mental health or any semblance of normality if she were to continue breastfeeding. I salute those mamas who fed for as long as they were able to.

I am not saying formula is poison, as people like to assume I think. But don't tell me that it is just as good as breastmilk because it straight up is not. How can it ever be, for starters it's based around cow's milk (milk made for baby cows!). Breastmilk is a custom made, one time only offer kinda thing. Human milk for human babies! I'm just saying: give yourself a chance to do something amazing.

This stuff just spins around in my head every day, and while I am not so naive as to expect that I can change the world, I'd love to give it a go. Only trouble is, I don't really know where to start. I guess my peer supporting stuff is a good start. I volunteer multiple times a week at breastfeeding drop-ins, and it's lovely to see mums come to us with a breastfeeding obstacle, and help her and her baby get past that and then see them continue coming to the drop-ins to socialise with other like-minded mamas.

Booby power.