Today Pearl decided that after she'd eaten a really decent lunch (for once), that because I told her off for putting her hand in a pot of apple pudding, she would make herself sick. It fucking stank... who knew that cheese on toast only needs to be inside a baby's stomach for less than 15 minutes before it takes on the beautiful stench of every other sick in the world. I sound like I'm some demented mother when I say that she made herself sick. I am NOT one of these parents who thinks that their child is out to get them, for example I hate it when you hear mums saying that their child is manipulative and they're not even old enough to walk.
Anyway, she used to do the sick thing in the car seat and she's started doing it elsewhere now. It's like this: she's learned that if she is crying because she's cross, up to a certain point I will not do very much other than try to calm her down, or distract her to try and get her in a better mood. But she has learned that if she cries so hard that she makes herself sick, that obviously gets a bigger reaction out of me. I get it, she's trying to explain to me just how fucking injust I was being. I think so anyway. Is she? Well I guess this is what she's doing, since I have no way of actually knowing, but either way it's horrible to witness. She just makes this horrible heaving noise and coughs really hard till she gets sick.
I think she might have some sort of cold or virus or sooooomething because she has been so crotchety today. I also think that I have been so busy trying to be some sort of super mum and wife, but perfection is a stupid thing to aim for. I have been getting myself all stressed trying to get everything done, and I think she picks up on that. She is so sensitive to the moods of those around her, and particularly my mood. She's been all clingy like a baby monkey, I struggled to be able to get dressed today without her crying at my feet. It's made me realise I need to stop dilly-dallying and buy a MeiTei baby carrier so that I can carry her around with me and not make my spine even more wonky. I have a couple of other slings, the Moby Wrap in particular was an absolute life saver. I still use that regularly but when we're just around the house I need something quicker and more lightweight. Plus I want to start wearing her on my back and I don't find the back positions with the Moby very comfortable. I've seen in a couple of other Mama blogs that the meitei is good for that position, so I must get on that soon.
Ok writing this was interrupted by her waking up crying only 40minutes after she went to bed. She is snuffling like nobody's business... which means some sort of cold or virus, or the dreaded teething. Actually come to think of it, she hasn't had a new tooth in over a month. That means it's going to be a bad night's sleep. I'ma go watch rubbish tv for a while, and pray for some sort of sleep-related miracle to hit Pearl before I drag my sorry self to bed.
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