I've decided to start a blog. With a 14month old daughter, I have no idea how often I will be able to actually write posts, but I figure I may as well give it a go. I also have no idea who might read this but it's nice to have somewhere to write things and perhaps come back and read what my sleep-deprived self was thinking at any given moment in time. Well, that was an unnecessarily long and garbled sentence - unfortunately my writing tends to be like that (very much like my speech, if you've ever had a conversation with me) but please bear with me. I have to bear with myself and have a lovely husband who also bears with me. I guess Pearl probably also bears with me a lot.
Lately I get glimpses of what she's going to be like as a grown up person. We'll be having a conversation (i.e I'll be talking at her about whatever we're doing) and I'll just catch her looking at me as if to say "What the fuck, mum?!". I can't wait till she can actually answer back in real words, you know rather than just in collections of consonant and vowel sounds in various pitches. The pitch and speed of this babbling determines her mood. Lately it's been all fast and high and non-stop.
This week our home has been re-named Frustrationville, population Pearl. Also Snotsville, population Pearl and Dada. Living with a sick baby is bad enough, but add in a sick man and... whoa there! I'm a Mama get me outta here! I think the Snotsville thing makes the Frustrationville thing infinity worse, but as the snot subsides and the frustration continues I fear the worst. At least Bobby is on the mend so I've only got one ratbag to deal with. Pearl gets so frustrated because she quite clearly knows what she wants/means, and on the rare occasion that I don't understand what she wants she just loses her mind. 14months old is a very hard age to be, apparently. I can actually see why she gets cross like she does. She is SO bright and it's as though she knows in her head what she wants to do, but she isn't physically or verbally developed enough to actually do it and she gets all upset and sometimes inconsolable. It's all about enabling and if you cant enable then you have to use distraction. You'll try and distract her with a sink full of water (it's the simple things!), or with going on a 'cat hunt' (aka "Let's go find Keke and Chino... oooh are they under the bed.... noooo...... are they in the wardrobe.... noooooo etc etc). She understand SO much more than I even realise, I'm sure of it. I was able to get her to lie down for a nappy change earlier by telling her that we were going to see the ducks afterwards, and she lay down quite happily signing and saying 'quack, ducks, quack, duck duck duck quack quack'.
So far this has been like the brain fart and verbal diarrhoea of a tired mum. I live and breathe Pearl, in case you hadn't noticed. When she goes to bed I feel like I should take what everybody else calls 'me time' but I find myself going over what I've done today with Pearl, and what she did that was new, and talking to Bobby about how amazing she is, etc etc. And now I'm writing about it to the internets. I wonder if these feelings of wonder ever fade? And I wonder if I'll ever write about anything else?
Stay tuned?
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