Glazed

The bloody engine light has come on in my car again. It came on a few weeks ago, so I drove up to my mum and dad's so I could take it into my dad's work (car dealership with garage) to get it checked. By the time I got there the light had turned itself off, and my dad said I just had to wait for it to come on again. And this evening it did. I was kinda hoping it would just go away: that if I ignored it, somehow the problem would miraculously solve itself. This is something I used to like to do a lot, but when you have a child it's not really the most sensible way of dealing with things. I have cut my ostrich-like behaviour down to a bare minimum, and this really isn't the situation to start behaving like a strange bird again. I think partly I want to bury my head about this because I got the car from my dad, and he and my mum do so much for us that I feel guilty presenting him with more work on my behalf. Especially since I know we probably won't be able to afford the repairs ourselves, and that my dad will have to sort it out for us. I hope my little car is ok and that the 'engine malfunction indicator' light has just come on by accident, or is nothing too serious.

I still feel like I'm in a bit of a daze without Calla here. I kinda lost track of this week and I can't believe it's Saturday tomorrow already. We'd made loose plans to go up and visit my family on Sunday if Calla was here, so I guess we could stick to that at least, as it ties in well with getting my car seen to. I want to go to Bluewater while we're there (it's like 15mins from their house) and start my search for a new pair of boots. My last pair finally gave up the ghost after 9 years and I haven't found a replacement yet. I was trying to explain to Bobby why I find it so hard to choose a new pair. Basically, if we were millionaires I would have multiple pairs of boots to go with every different outfit. But we're not, and so the pair of boots I choose has to be versatile enough to match different outfits and occasions. I am asking a lot out of one pair of boots, particularly as I have stupid chicken legs (read: really skinny) and need a pair that will fit my calves and not make me look like I'm wearing wellies. I don't want a high heel, I don't want chunky heels, not too rounded in the toe, proper knee length, preferably with some sort of buckle/strap option and of course a zip not lace-up. I failed my search last year and spent last winter without a pair of boots, which is not something I wish to repeat. Bootmakers - don't let me down again!

Woah

My birthday was fun, I ate a lot of Indian food and caterpillar cake (thank you Marks and Spencer!), and generally just enjoyed life. I made a flying visit to London, stayed at my Mum and Dad's for the night, and came home to get on with prepping our house for the imminent arrival of our Canadian visitor. Unfortunately she fell sick and couldn't come. So gutted! Obviously we're so upset that she couldn't come but how awful for her to be too sick to travel - hoping she feels better soon. I know we will get to see each other again soon! Last time we were meant to see each other, we had flights booked to Canada and then I fell pregnant with Pearl. By the time we would've been due to fly, I was so far along and was on the cusp of requiring a doctor's note, and I had been super sick while pregnant so didn't know if we'd even get it. Also, because of the aforementioned pregnancy, money was tight. So we had to come to the very grown-up decision that it was better to just say goodbye to some of the flight money, rather than have to spend even more while out there. Anyway. It would appear that some strange karma has come between our paths again, but I know we will meet again some day. She's my Canadian soul mate. If you read this Calla - we love you and hope you are feeling better.

Without our special guest, this week it's just business as usual here. Every day so far while Pearl has napped, I've been cracking on with ironing. Today I decided that 'Murder She Wrote' was calling me, and so I've sat down with this mini laptop and put my feet up for a while. I'm going to look up some more recipes for the spare bananas we've got in the kitchen. I've started intentionally buying too many bananas so that we'll have enough left to use in baking. This morning we made another banana loaf, but I'm thinking something involving peanut butter would be good this afternoon. I love cake!

Spoil(t)

It's my birthday tomorrow. We're not doing anything in particular to celebrate, as far as I'm aware. Pearl has only started recently accepting any sort of evening routine (previously it was ever-changing in terms of time and structure - her choice, not ours). That routine culminates in laying down with me to go to sleep. I just don't feel it's fair at this point to try and force her to go to sleep for somebody else when she's not ready. If she hadn't been all super disrupted with sleep the past few weeks I probably would've considered trying it. Not at the moment tho.

It's not a special number birthday, it's only plain ol' 26. I'm not excited about it. I mean, I'm not one of those birthday hater types, but it is just another day really. I'm just gonna go about it like I would any other Friday, except for I know that Bobby has bought me an awesome present. I know what my present is and I spoiled it for myself, but I don't regret it because it's fucking rad! Plus it's only a day early, so whatever.

Basically, we're not exactly swimming in buckets of cash, like most people really. So for Bobby's birthday we decided that instead of spending money on a present that he would like, but not necessarily get lots of use from, he'd choose a new pair of boots. Practical and exciting, I know. But he was more than happy to do it (it was his idea in fact), and I did wonder whether we'd do the same thing for my birthday. However, Bobby said he wanted to get me a specific present, and it's not that I don't believe he'll get me great presents: he always does. I just didn't want to feel like we were being frivolous. This feels dumb to type so I'll cut to the chase. He got me Lips, that amazing XBox equivalent of Singstar. I love Karaoke, I love singing and this is actually my idea of heaven! He brought it home this evening and I wanted to test it out right away, but I've gotta wait till the morning because Pearl is asleep. I think she'll love it too because she already sings into the microphone on her toy piano, and music (as they say on Yo Gabba Gabba) is AWESOME!

So therefore, I am now excited about my birthday because I get to wake up and play Lips while I eat breakfast. Amaaaaaaazing!

Anyway. Time to go watch that Seth McFarlane almost live thingy, I'm half watching it while typing but it deserves my full attention because so far it's been hilarious. See you on the other side of my half century of life!

Words

I've been meaning to do this but never quite get around to it. I'm going to put it here so I have a proper hard copy for future reference. At 15 months, Pearl can say the following words:

Mama
Dada (Dad)
Cat
Dog (doorg)
Duck, and quack, these are interchangeable and have the same meaning
Nana
Grandad (ghan-dah)
Grandma (ghan-mah, or an-mah)
Frank (ank, or rang)
Apple (Pah, bah or praah)
Banana (narn)
Up (UH! UH! UH! UH! UH! UHUHUH! etc)
Down (dah)
Shoes (Soo, or oos)
Yes - comes out as yeh, or sometimes yep.
No
Bath (bah)
Book
Please (klees, or clhease)
Thanks (sanks)
Go
Mickey (Kaka, this is also used for Minnie Mouse)
Sling (clhin)
Bread (rehd)
Milk (Gilkh)
Butter (bahr)
Flour / flower (Flaahr)
Toast (Toosh)
Cake (Cack! Cack!) (For rice cakes as well as proper cakes)
Sausages (Sssssoooooos)
Drink (glink)
Igglepiggle (guh)
Upsydaisy (day)
Crisps (clisp)
Phone (ohhhn/ohw)
Spoon (boon)
Fork (orc)
Hot (oht, or a noise made by breathing in quickly, like 'ooh ooh', so she knows it'd hurt)
Chocolate (cockluch)
Biscuit (isk, eeskee)
Fish (shhhhhh)
Door

Words she's only said a few times but she's still said 'em:

Moomoo (her cousin's nickname)
Fiona (Nona)
Dylan (Deegh, or din)
Keke cat

If she sees food she likes, she'll say 'mmm nom nom!'.

She makes the noise of a the following animals if she sees them either in book, on tv, or as a toy:
cow (moo), pig (a very cute snorting noise), sheep (haah haah haaaah) (yes, literally that noise!), snake (sssss), cockerel (a very high pitched COCK!), dog (oof). Any sort of lion/tiger/dinosaur/monster all get the same 'roooooarghhghgghghggggggggrrrrrrr' sort of noise. She does a fab tractor noise too, its all brrrrrruuuuumgrrrrrrmmmmmhhhh and amazingly cute.

She can sign the following:
Milk
Finished
Yes
No
Nappy change
Fish

She tries out new words what feels like every minute of every day, I'm sure I've forgotten some for this list, but I needed to write it down before I forget. She's growing up so bloody fast!

Today is an oatmeal day

Pearl did not sleep last night. Well, she did sleep but it was incredibly fractured and interrupted by bursts of crying and lots of writhing around and having milk and coughing and more crying and strange whimpering and it just went on and on and on. Usually if we have a night like that, I try to keep the following day fairly laid back. I usually try to keep the following day laid back because if she's tired and I'm tired, we're both grumpy and irritable and I thought that it worked best if we didn't have any pressing arrangements to attend to. Today was the exception to that, and much to my surprise it actually works far better if we just keep on keeping on. First thing this morning was all tense and there was lots of whining over breakfast, so I decided that we needed to get out of the house, so we left bright and early to go to our Tuesday morning toddler group. I wore Pearl in the Moby Wrap there and back. It's our sling of choice, we've tried others along the way but this has been our true lifesaver, I have no idea how I would have coped without it. I feel like that closeness helped us both to get out of our cranky-tired moods. It's like wearing her resets our relationship, cancels out any bad mood vibes and it honestly calms me right down.

She ran around like a crazy little imp at toddler group, climbing everything and exploring and playing alongside her friends (occasionally getting walloped by another child, or pushing somebody else over if they dared to get on the slide before her!). On the way back she fell asleep. I stopped off in the mini Tesco to get some bits for lunch and dinner, she stayed asleep. When we got home I put away most of the bits, then decided to screw the housework and just take advantage of my sleeping babe, so I sat down and watched some daytime TV. I got to sit down for almost 2 whole hours! In total she slept for 2 and a half hours. Pearl hardly ever sleeps for that long at a time, even at night, so it was a real treat for her and me. She woke up super refreshed and I felt like I was more ready to continue auditioning for the role of 'world's best mummy'. We ate lunch and then set about doing some errands. Usually on a Tuesday afternoon I do a cleaning job, but I ended up only being able to do half of it because our quick errands turned into getting caught up in queues in the Town Hall and subsequently in the bank.

We came back and I prepared and roasted vegetables as quickly as our puny little oven would allow. Pearl was getting all antsy and tired and hungry, so I decided we'd make some fruity flapjack while we waited for our dinner. She loves baking! She helped me pour out the oats and measuring the ingredients, and stirring the oil and sugar, and mixing it all together, and lining the baking tin. While I put it in the oven and then boiled some spaghetti to go with the veggies, she decided to sample the delights of cat biscuits, from their bowl on the floor. Apparently they don't taste half bad. They even taste better than roasted squash, which she refused to eat once we finally got to the dining table.

I love how she eats spaghetti, all slurpy and with both hands, shovelling and mouth warped and frantic, and all over the place and then that final satisfied 'smack' as she sucks the last bit into her mouth. We finished dinner, and she found a piece of Cadbury's finger on the floor that she'd discarded after lunch. I asked her if she was tired, and she signed yes, so we put on our nunights winding down music. After we'd read a few of her favourite books, she asked for a massage so I obliged - it is so nice seeing her little face with that blissful smile. I wish I had somebody to give me a full body massage every evening! Quick change into a night-time nappy and pyjamas, she is ready for bed. We wave goodnight to everything on our way to the bedroom: music, toys, sofa, bathroom, cats, kitchen. We gather Mickey and Minnie Mouse and her bedtime duck, lay down on our bed and 20 minutes later she's got a tummy of milk and is absolutely fast asleep. I zip up her sleeping bag and creep out of the room.

I just ate a huge chunk of the flapjack we made and it is damn tasty! It's not just oats, it's got my favourite seeds in it - pumpkin, sunflower, linseed, as well as chopped almonds and dried apricots and cranberries. Sooo gooey and amazingly more-ish. I'm hoping Pearl gets better sleep tonight, not just for my own selfish purposes, but because it can't be nice for her to feel so tired all day long either. Bobby is working late tonight so I'ma go grab the rest of the box of chocolate fingers and our sofa blanket, and watch this programme about why we talk. Tomorrow it all begins again. Although I guess it never really ends!