Nnnnng blergh

I have a cold, again. So does Pearl, although hers is already waning thankfully. I've been breathing through my mouth all week. This is not attractive and needs to end soon. I want to be able to taste my food again, and to be able to sleep lying down without feeling like I'm suffocating. Additionally, a cold plus sleep deprivation can drastically reduce one's ability to behave rationally. Pearl's cold preceded mine, so for a few days before I got snotty she was stirring almost every 10 minutes overnight. My poor body just didn't stand a chance. I've got a mouth full of ulcers, which is my foolproof sign that I am run the fuck down. I don't just get one or two at a time, I get clusters of the buggers, and usually on my tonsils too. This time they're on my soft palette and going down to my tonsils, also under my tongue. Real nice, immune system, thanks.

Anyway enough of the poorly whining. Tomorrow I'm meant to be going out with my husband in the evening for the first time since Pearl was born. Snot and all. Pearl usually nurses to sleep, and during night-time hours she will usually only accept comfort from me, so it would've been unfair to her and to any potential babysitters for me to leave her after hours. At 18 months she still usually only wants me at night, but Bob's parents are the ones who will be babysitting. I know that she loves them so much and... well I don't know how she's going to act but I will only be about 1/2hr away, so can be back here quick if she really needs me.

Part of me thinks that she might not go to sleep at all. Maybe cos of the excitement of having her grandparents here, maybe because she won't get the warm milk and relaxing hormone nightcap. Part of me is totally panicking and thinking about cancelling, because I'm abandoning her when she needs me most and will she think I'm a mean heartless mummy? Part of me just knows that nothing Pearl has ever done has been predictable, and really what's the worst that could happen? One night won't permanently disturb her bedtime routine. I mean, she sleeps so unpredictably already, perhaps an evening shakeup might be what she needs. Who knows.

I won't be drinking but I am looking forward to some adult conversation, and an excuse to get dressed in something other than my daytime mummy clothes. I've been outfit planning all week, like an excited school girl, but it just occured to me that most of the clothes I'd been thinking about are probably in the giant mountain of washing in the bedroom. Tomorrow morning I will have to root around and see what I can wash on a quick cycle, so that it will dry in time for our evening adventures.

Fingers crossed I can at least make it to the party before I have to come back to my bubba.